Urban Safety Advocates Gifts

Street lighting cutbacks.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man using to much bug spray

Dog Crossing

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"Careful."

Cafe Burns.

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

"On your left."

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

Boozing and Cruising

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

Speeding Forklift

'This is a new electronic child-proof cap. If you can pronounce the drug's name, it opens.'

Humpty Dumpty wearing over-the-shoulder seat belt smiles smugly.

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'I know a lot of you have been sharing your opinions regarding health care and I just wanted to remind you, stay out of the road!'

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

"You know you have to wait an hour after eating before getting out of the water, young man!"

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

'I know they look geeky - but I believe lat good parenting should always come before style.'

"I keep telling him there's a big difference between swimming and floating."