Urban Safety Advocates Gifts

Street lighting cutbacks.

Pool attached to child's bed.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man using to much bug spray

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

Dog Crossing

"Getting the hang of it?"

"Careful."

Cafe Burns.

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

"On your left."

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

Boozing and Cruising

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

Speeding Forklift

'This is a new electronic child-proof cap. If you can pronounce the drug's name, it opens.'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Humpty Dumpty wearing over-the-shoulder seat belt smiles smugly.

'I know a lot of you have been sharing your opinions regarding health care and I just wanted to remind you, stay out of the road!'

'Hey Dad, can I borrow the car?'

"You know you have to wait an hour after eating before getting out of the water, young man!"

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

"I keep telling him there's a big difference between swimming and floating."