Urban Myth Debunker Gifts

'Don't distract me now: I have only a few seconds to text myself a reminder before I forget...'

"Of course, the whole lemming suicides thing is a myth ? the reason for these deaths is that mass migrations can last many months and lemmings become too tired to avoid cliff edges. Except Derek, but he always was a miserable bastard."

"I'm just worried that I've let myself become a follower."

"You know what they say, Ladies. Big cheese sandwich, big p***s."

"Hey sweety! I just found out that the myth about men with big feet is not true at all!"

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

Govt. UK led by Seance

"For decades we lemmings have been jumping off cliffs. Dude, it's time to evolve!"

"In science class, we learned that a solar eclipse is not due to a rolling blackout."

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

'No thanks, curiosity has already cost me 7 lives, and I'm not risking any more.'

'Of course I've done something about Lady Godiva -- I had security cameras installed all over town!'

"Do I still believe in Santa Claus? I don't even believe in Congress."

"I miscounted."

"Medical insurance? Are you kidding? No one will cover me for nine lives!"

'Sorry I'm late, miss. My alarm clock overslept.'

"Say, Buddy. . . do you pick-ups as well?"

'We'll soon know whether or not the Easter rabbit is real.'

Tall stories

Meter Maid

Rational explanations

"I don't care what your friends say! This "nine lives" business is just an urban legend: think safety first!"

'There are those who say that in America the streets are paved with excrement.'

"It's okay, I'm actually just a flamboyantly-costumed osteopath."

Do you realise the gravity of this situation?

After the death of New York City, Zeus placed it in the heavens as a constellation.

'I'm not sure which side of the Bristol Crocodile debate I come down on!'

'I know you lost six nil, but why did you clout that little boy?' - 'He's our lucky mascot.'

"Ouch!"

"It's the five-second rule, Tia Carmen! If you eat it before five seconds, it's OK!"

Rise of the Drones

'I did create man in my image, but man evolved.'

The real costs of alternative facts!!