Urban Entertainment Gifts

"Extreme miming"

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

They hated me.

Showbiz Awards

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Dog Walking Services

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

Champagne

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

A Guide to Balloon Animals

Television Readers.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

The Rooster Comedian.

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Cow Show Tunes

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Bloody hell!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

Cord cutter