Urban Culture Critic Gifts

Too Fit to Acquit

'Young man! I'm not urban, and I'm certainly not an animal.'

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

The height of fashion in 1796

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

"Say 'eh.'"

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

"Now that was post-modern sex."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

Unlikely Couples #136: Jim and Sheryl Crow

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

"I'm after the history section."

SF NO

"How is it in Russia?"

"Some Debussy, Igor."

'It's not easy to get one of these - before that you have to have found a parking space!'

Demonic Repossession.

"Honey, do you think I'm Eurocentric?"

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

"It's all significantly less impressive once you realize these guys had free child care."

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

When 'cancel culture' becomes commonplace...

'Burke's B-list celebrities.'

'We're wondering whether you'd fit into our corporate culture!'

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

"Talk about old New York families—they bought their Warhols new!"

Cool Z enters his minimalist period.