Unorthodox Eater Pillows

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

Man sitting and reading 'Joy of Take Out' book surrounded by take out boxes.

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

Executive Tacos

"As you can see, my culinary creations are eclectic."

"Oh, c'mon! Who eats aardvark with a fork?"

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

Spaghetto

'I think we should eat out in the hotel tomorrow dear.'

"I heard this dumpster got a bad review, but we'll try it out anyhow."

'Frankly, the diet I'm putting you on will include things that you probably wouldn't consider 'food' as such.'

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

"Well, I don't care if it is some kind of fancy-schmancy restaurant...if I want ketchup, I'm gonna get ketchup!"

Hospital Food

"You'll like this place. The food is eclectic without being schizophrenic."

How to sell healthy food...

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

'Joe's Junk Food.' 'At least he's honest.'

"If I admit that I was wrong I would be admitting to myself that my whole life and everything I am and believe in is based on lies!"

'You think ideas are contained in food?'

Sadojazzachists

'Darling, I've brought mom round for tea! I hope it won't spoil my surprise!'

"With these electricity prices we can't afford cooking anymore. Imagine eating sausage-favored popsicles."

'well, then, I guess you're also lactose substitute intolerant.'

'We'll see you again in three months time, then, sir.'

"It was ok, but could be improved by cooking!"

'Our cuisine has moved from the eclectic to the schizophrenic.'

Jim checks his breadbox inbox.

Pizza Express Take-away