Unlucky Adventurer Pillows

'It was a rare accident. Lightning struck his bed pan.'

Get crazy once in a while

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

"Can you remember the general shape of our car?"

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

First aid departments

Old Joe was determined to reach the summit as he'd left his false teeth up there last week!

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

Desert Planet

"Forgotten anything?"

'I know just how you feel.'

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

"Don't tell me I forgot me toothbrush again."

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

Palm Reading

"I totally forgot what I came up here for."

Gerald's first ever date remains on track.

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

"This is our corporate evaluation pond. If you can survive a 15 minute swim, then you are management material."

Castaway with a tennis court.

'I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?'

Implications of the quantum wavefunction 12: 'You can never be complete safe.' Until it actually hits something a fired projectile could materialize anywhere.

"Ice rink"

"Somewhere along the line the world got a whole lot dorkier."

'Sure elephants never forget. You can't even remember how to ride a bicycle.'

The plumber asks out the cable lady.

Things to do today: Practice for long distance swim.

Magician conjures up a crocodile and is chased by it