Unlucky Adventurer Pillows

'It was a rare accident. Lightning struck his bed pan.'

I took a vacation to forget everything and I forgot my luggage.

Get crazy once in a while

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

Clown's Cuckoo Clock.

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

The sad fate of Isaac Newton's Tahitian counterpart.

"Can you remember the general shape of our car?"

First aid departments

Old Joe was determined to reach the summit as he'd left his false teeth up there last week!

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

Desert Planet

"Forgotten anything?"

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

This guy is always upbeat and sees the glass as half full. I like riding home like this at the end of the day. It's nice finishing on an optimistic note.

'I know just how you feel.'

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

"Don't tell me I forgot me toothbrush again."

Palm Reading

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

Gerald's first ever date remains on track.

"I totally forgot what I came up here for."

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

"This is our corporate evaluation pond. If you can survive a 15 minute swim, then you are management material."

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."

Castaway with a tennis court.

'I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?'

'Sure elephants never forget. You can't even remember how to ride a bicycle.'

"Somewhere along the line the world got a whole lot dorkier."

"Ice rink"

Implications of the quantum wavefunction 12: 'You can never be complete safe.' Until it actually hits something a fired projectile could materialize anywhere.

The plumber asks out the cable lady.

"Electric car, heck I can't even remember to plug in my phone."