University Jokester Prints

"The 'Maurice Q. Dinkelfrost Professor of Economics' really is an endowed chair even though we made up the name just to amuse ourselves."

"Can you believe it? I'm just 4 credits short of a 'Useless Major While Accruing Massive Student Loan Debt' degree."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

'Hard or soft science?'

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

"It's the formula for a black hole."

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

Student writing on blackboard - I will not egg the principal's car.

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

Big man on Krampus

Undergraduate and don

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

'What's our exit strategy?'

Breakfast at Universities

"In an effort to avoid controversy, and to accommodate our attention spans, we will be replacing the commencement speaker with fortune cookies."

Professor Clown teaches advanced physics

Dentists who do appendectomies.

"It says to sign, and then print my name... can I use the school printer?"

'My son is in college and switched out of engineering into fraternity partying. He days he finds it less intense.'