Uni Jokester Prints

Professor Clown teaches advanced physics

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

Don't you hate...

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

'Hard or soft science?'

Scientists continue their research on the Hippocampus.

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"This'll show the Theology Department."

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.