University Hopefuls Pillows

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

'Why not take some time off after high school...travel a bit...get a job...make some money...pay your own way through college.'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."

Universidad

'You're never going to follow me in my trade, Son - you may as well go to university.'

"Finally! Summer is here! That means we're one year closer to college!"

Adjunct educator substitute teacher.

"When you get to Uni be sure to let that hair down responsibly."

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

'I'm sorry but we don't have athletic scholarships for video games.'

"I'm leaning towards NYU."

"It's all set. We both have enough credits to go to college."

"Mum, Dad, I've decided to go to University. I want to party for 5 years before I start work"

"That's Ruffles, our I.Q.-sniffing dog."

Unpublished Authors of the Big Bangs Theory

"Well, I think it's good that he wants to go to university."

'Higher learning gets higher each year.'

"While we certainly congratulate you on your acceptance to the University of Hawaii, Sandra..."

"Oh, I wanted to be so many things. Of course, being wrinkled was not one of them."

"Papi, I'm planning my future. How much money do you have in my college fund?"

"Would a beard make me look more academic?"

'I never finished college, but the $60,000 my parents spent on my education should count for something.'