College-bound Dreamers Pillows

'Higher learning gets higher each year.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

'And here's my collection of stock in DiscoCorp... or as I call it, your college fund.'

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

I got into the college everyone wants to go to! Well played. It's the perfect fit for me! Way to go! Eco-Club. Which one is it? Dunno. Why do you care? So I don't apply there!

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

The bane of every college applicant: the admissions essay.

'According to this stop watch I'm not growing up fast enough.'

"You see 'The Man' devised this shrewd plan so more people can go to college and become doctors and lawyers and stuff. Now that they're 'productive members of society,' revolution is the last thing on their minds! I plan to make that my doctoral thesis wh

"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."

Universidad

"Sometimes, time travel isn't such a good idea."

MBA, PhD £100,000 student loan. Please Help.

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

'I see a bright future, a transformation: Beauty, wings, elegance...'

The sixth college sense. 'I see debt people.'

'Well, Gosh...! How did you know I was an incoming freshman...?'

'You're never going to follow me in my trade, Son - you may as well go to university.'

'I'm working on a ten year degree. Four years in school, and six years to pay off my student loans.'

"My dad doesn't nag me enough about going to college."

"Do you think about life after high school? Like...what are you taking when you go to college?"

'If you aren't careful, son, you'll be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'