University Hopefuls Mugs

Just go play on whichever one you like. I'm sure the choice won't affect your college applications.

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'Why not take some time off after high school...travel a bit...get a job...make some money...pay your own way through college.'

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."

Universidad

I'm freaking out! Thursday is dress rehearsal. Nerves? Work! I've got a math and history test on Friday. Why did I ever sign up for the spring musical? Because it's fun? West Fester High School. On my college application it'll look like I had fun. It'll go with your "Looks aren't important" essay.

'You're never going to follow me in my trade, Son - you may as well go to university.'

"Finally! Summer is here! That means we're one year closer to college!"

"When you get to Uni be sure to let that hair down responsibly."

Adjunct educator substitute teacher.

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

'I'm sorry but we don't have athletic scholarships for video games.'

"I'm leaning towards NYU."

"Gracie, you do not need a cell phone. Little girls like you don't get important phone calls."

How was your college tour? Good. Now I need straight A's and 375 extracurriculars to get in. You're exaggerating. Easy for you to say. You've got a 4.0. Yeah, but

"It's all set. We both have enough credits to go to college."

"Mum, Dad, I've decided to go to University. I want to party for 5 years before I start work"

"That's Ruffles, our I.Q.-sniffing dog."

Unpublished Authors of the Big Bangs Theory

"Well, I think it's good that he wants to go to university."

"While we certainly congratulate you on your acceptance to the University of Hawaii, Sandra..."

'Higher learning gets higher each year.'

"Oh, I wanted to be so many things. Of course, being wrinkled was not one of them."

"Papi, I'm planning my future. How much money do you have in my college fund?"

"Would a beard make me look more academic?"