Universal Unifier Pillows

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

Social distancing

High-gravity baseball

Meet the Enemy

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

Newton's cradle

Health cuts after Covid 19

"Harold - We gotta come up with tag names and go over it - That's how we reclaim our block."

'The big bang theory of creation.'

Otto von Bismarck

'If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?'

You are everywhere.

'I know just how you feel. Sometimes I think I'm living on the wrong planet too.'

Stephen Hawking

The Big Bang Theory Revisited

The universe doesn't really care if we're "having fun." And neither does Bob.

'Well, don't look at me!'

'Then it's decided... the United Nations will bring full sanctions against Rienzo's Hoagie Hut for today's cruddy lunch.'

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."

"It sure is great to have you back for a while at the mother ship."

Group hug.

'Will you marry us?'

'Entropy already? You just made it.'

"Lord, looks like our country is split right down the middle - help us to combine our energy to make America better!"

"Totality was great, but now that it's over I'm like, 'What am I even doing?'"

The dream of a rainbow nation goes up in smoke.

"Hello I.S.S.? This is Mission Control. We regret to inform you that you're all being sent back home due to outsourcing."

'I'd say this planet is uninhabited.'

Pentagon Science Contest: 'It's a planet-killing comet heading here, and only the military has the resources to secretly evacuate all the V.I.P.s and their families before it hits.'

'Intriguing theory, Dr. Kleinherz, but the fact that the Universe is expanding doesn't necessarily mean that God is a capitalist.'

"Will all this light cause galactic warming?"