Universal Thinker T-Shirts

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

Pentagon Science Contest: 'It's a planet-killing comet heading here, and only the military has the resources to secretly evacuate all the V.I.P.s and their families before it hits.'

'Well, don't look at me!'

'The big bang theory of creation.'

'Intriguing theory, Dr. Kleinherz, but the fact that the Universe is expanding doesn't necessarily mean that God is a capitalist.'

The universe doesn't really care if we're "having fun." And neither does Bob.

Newton's cradle

Stephen Hawking

"Will all this light cause galactic warming?"

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

"Nation-building never works."

"Good game."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Gee, thanks pal."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Chiller Theatre

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

What We Thought Were Canals Are Deep Prejudices and Inequities.

Zenemies.

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

Maybe there's something to this global warming after all.

Slavery Reparations

How life on Earth really got its start.

EU and India partnership.

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

Population rocket

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'