Unique Qualifications Pillows

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

"Things are looking up!"

"Speed reader...?"

"Francine, you're a rebel!"

'We think a lot alike - and that threatens my uniqueness to this company.'

'You've got to give her points for originality.'

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"Do you need an anthropomorphic car with a monkey chauffeur in the city? No. Do you want it? Definitely."

Newly Qualified Teacher.

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

"Why?"

Qualifications

'I'm sorry - Mr. Jenkins, MBA, PhD, MD, Esq. is O.U.T.'

Young Rubik did not get along well with his classmates.

"Give it up for Stevie and his musical underarms! Next up, in the house...Crazy Katrina and her jump rope of death! It's something you'll see only on...the Security Camera Network!"

"You've come a long way in a short period of time, Barry!"

'Center for rat race studies'

"The hardest part about school is trying to fit in."

'Believe me, nobody ever confuses their wine glass with mine.'

'I liked being a millionaire before everyone became one.'

Duo for Flute and Hobo

Failed business ventures.

"He's busy exercising the goldfish at the moment.

"Always standing out from the crowd."

"Have you got anything that doesn't look like a pressure gauge from the Titanic?"

"He's one in a million."

"Yep, that's a new sign: I've just finished my law-degree..."

Unique Traffic Cones

"Sorry, go on, I was just distracted for a moment by all my qualifications."

Man with a hook for an arm playing the piano, and thus destroying it

"The position requires a minimum of 2 GCSE's you appear to have only 10 of these 'O' Level thingies"