Unique Home Seeker T-Shirts

Fire station pole. 'Don't worry, a fireman lives upstairs.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"Not to mention the park view."

The Day Dreamer.

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

House hunting is cruel.

'It is a huge property, originally built by a Condor: Perfect for a large family...'

'I seem to be on the range but 'home' is proving illusive.'

Turtle Home

"This looks intersting. Three bedrooms, two and a half scratching posts..."

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

New Homes

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

'And, as you can see, it is the perfect place to start a big family...'

'At least this means we won't need a coal mining search.'

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

'Well! Another near miss! Remind me not to listen to you next time you say it's okay to move in downstairs from a young family and that's not the reason the place was so cheap!'

"Can I suggest a hoarder's house? It's perfect for a young family of rats to move in and share with the current owner..."

"We're interested in a five bath, one bedroom that's on the water."

"You're going to love the 360 degree views with this one."

Your dream home

"Well, you did say that you were just looking for something to get you started on the property ladder."

'That's the sort of home I've always wanted.'

Just when all hope was lost, Kirby happened upon a vision shared by all homeless cuckoo birds - the abandoned clock.

'I hope to raise enough money to buy my own house and move out at sixteen!'

House viewing

"I don't get it. How come it's so cheap?"

'Does it have plenty of closet space? My husband sulks a lot.'

You said you wanted an early American house AND it does have a few modern conveniences including central air and heating.

"It has some charming original features."