Unintentional Peeper Pillows

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 9.

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

Mistaken identity.

"I'm looking for loopholes."

"Because the 'morning after pill' is not a rectal suppository."

'Neighbors...friends...artists models.'

"No offence Jon, but..."

"The key is to keep the momentum going when you're establishing the base of the snowman..."

"Where should we fly to for our next vacation?"

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

'There's nothing good to eat!'

"All I get is a bird's eye view."

'How am I doing?'

'Giraffe'

"This is not Easter Island. My boat sank before getting there."

'Regardless, our trip to the Upper Amazon was fine. You know David--everything has to be perfect.'

"Let's just say I'm leaving to pursue other interests."

'This is all very clever, Mr. Quigley, but there was a court ruling years ago that marriages can't be classified as non-profit organizations.'

Air Harmonica

'You're close to becoming the indispensable man, Grisnill---You keep finding loopholes'

'My lawyer says he's pretty sure this is police entrapment.'

'So do you have any travel plans fah the holidays, Eddie?'

'It would seem that grooming one another is very important in maintaining social order.'

'I told you to keep quiet about not liking cats...' (Animal Rights protesters outside the house)

"Nature lover my tailfeathers...I say he's a peeping Tom!"

"Burger King bought a Canadian donut chain and relocated its headquarters to Canada to skip U.S. taxes."

'I was very good today, Lord, but it was just a fluke.'

None of my plants do well...but I forgot I had an onion in my refrigerator, and it's sprouting leaves and growing well.

Audubon Guide To Neighbors

'Let me know when you want me to help you get your rocks off.'

'I'm just here for a few of your favourite tax loopholes.'

"Phew! I'm bushed! I've been up all night helping the removal men clear the front room."