Unfriendly-friendly T-Shirts

"Oh, Stan, I love your sarcastic sense of humor."

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

Garden Goddess.

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"Well, I think we come back as newspapers." "You're nuts."

Global Warming.

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

The Earth as a habitat being poisoned by pollution (symbolised by car exhaust fumes)

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

Elephant seeking fresh air

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

'Ms. Haskell, as we transition to paperless, do you think I should carry a briefcase or laptop...or both?'

Polar Bear arrives at house

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

"They're not as scary on casual Friday."

"What a coincidence, this letter complaining about our paper mill polluting the river is written on notepaper printed there...."

EPA - Environmental Persecution Agency.

"Sorry, but I didn't switch from unsanitary handshakes to fist bumps just to start group hugging!"

'It's true what they say - we're a nation of dog lovers!'

Ecology

"We want to fly the friendly skies, but only with friendly fellow passengers."

Wet Wipes: My Guilty Secret

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

Nethead strip: Dates

"I never got a chance to say 'Shut up.' "

Look...a friendly face.

Six feet and a smile