Unfair Scale Slayer T-Shirts

"It's what you deserve."

Giant slug attacks a city

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

"I've diligently spent the last eight hours saving an entire colony of elves from a pack of vicious dragons and your only concern is that it is 2 am?"

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

"Buy stock in a college?...I don't think you can...but why would we?"

Scared employees and manager fighting recession (dragon).

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Rudy, please help me distract level 2 of my video game. Distract? I have no problem with level 1. But as soon as I get past it. I face this super-powerful monster. I can't defeat it. It's so mean, and ... oh no, here it comes! Where? No more playing or talking about video games. Go outside and do something real! I'll never make it to level 3. You'll never make it to your teens.

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'LIAR!'

"This year, no coal for the bad guys!"

Woman weighing herself sitting on a chair.

"I'm looking for something with low clearance. Something monsters won't be able to get under."

Dietitian: Weighting Room.

How to Get Rid of All the Snow

'Willy, get me the pesticide! We've got zombies!'

"You killed it, you clean it."

'What exactly is it you dislike about slugs, Mister Crabtree?'

Time Scales

"Finally! A distraction from my inner demons."

'Still at a plateau, Mrs Johnson?'

'I think I can...'

'Watch out!'

'Faster Grace, it's gaining on you!'

Jan was one of a select few personal trainers who would exercise demons...

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. It's print out says 'I Quit!'.

'Look - the giant is dead! You got your cow back! Stop worrying about the loss of the bean crop!'

'Hank, if I find one more of these things in the lawn, I'm going to throw away that damn crossbow.'

"Exorcising one's demons."

'John is a great father and a wonderful husband, but occasionally he wrestles with demons.'

'Don't worry Hal, I think if you pour salt on them, they completely shrivel up.'

Let me handle him okay?

'Oh no, my diet plan's gone pear-shaped!'

"I'm not trying to sell you anything, sir. I'm doing market research, and all I ask is two or three hours of your time to answer a few thousand questions."