Undead Slayer T-Shirts

'Willy, get me the pesticide! We've got zombies!'

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Giant slug attacks a city

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

"I've diligently spent the last eight hours saving an entire colony of elves from a pack of vicious dragons and your only concern is that it is 2 am?"

Scared employees and manager fighting recession (dragon).

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Rudy, please help me distract level 2 of my video game. Distract? I have no problem with level 1. But as soon as I get past it. I face this super-powerful monster. I can't defeat it. It's so mean, and ... oh no, here it comes! Where? No more playing or talking about video games. Go outside and do something real! I'll never make it to level 3. You'll never make it to your teens.

Medicine.

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."

"After a long day at school, it's nice just to come home, kick back and outrun a horde of bloodthirsty zombies."

'Wow, this computer virus is really something else!'

"I'm looking for something with low clearance. Something monsters won't be able to get under."

'Oh, sure, I should wake him up...but I asked him to kill that thing a week ago!'

'Oh for crying out loud, so there's a spider in the bathtub!!'

"You will never get your math homework done that way mister!"

How to Get Rid of All the Snow

Saint George's Day: 'You can understand why they made him England's Patron Saint.'

'What exactly is it you dislike about slugs, Mister Crabtree?'

"You killed it, you clean it."

'no, I'm sorry to say, giving up your bonus has not increased my respect for you.'

Fighting the Dragon

'Give it up, Coondog! You can't win a stare-down with a zombie!'

"Finally! A distraction from my inner demons."

'I think I can...'

'Faster Grace, it's gaining on you!'

Jan was one of a select few personal trainers who would exercise demons...

'Hank, if I find one more of these things in the lawn, I'm going to throw away that damn crossbow.'

'Look - the giant is dead! You got your cow back! Stop worrying about the loss of the bean crop!'

"Exorcising one's demons."

"It's what you deserve."

"To be honest I thought it would be more intimidating..."

"The witness may continue. I was just killing a spider."

'John is a great father and a wonderful husband, but occasionally he wrestles with demons.'