Unexpected Twist T-Shirts

"This neighborhood still attracts the occasional exile."

Swiss army knife

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

Fire door.

Death Photobombs a Holiday

Joe, this is not my idea of 'paint night at the bar.'

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

"Schedule the 'voyeur' and the 'exhibitionist' for the same time. I want them to meet."

'Looks like the invasion has already began...'

Muggers nick nurses bag only to be showered in syringes

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

Bull with gun

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'

'Wait a minute,' thought Bob. 'This isn't my book. And those aren't my hands.'

'Good news. The DNA proves you're not guilty, you have no genetic diseases, and you're a half-brother of the Prince of Glavistan.'

Magician conjures up a crocodile and is chased by it

'You called a plumber!'

"You are late! The rabbit left half an hour ago!"

"And I was all like - severed head in a sack? What severed head in a sack?"

Penguin emerges from freezer. Man says: 'This freezer needs defrosting.'

". . . and now, someone who needs no introduction. . ."

Fortunately, Nigel had something up his sleeve.

"Oh! You gave me such a start."

A mounted fish eats a man's arm

'Wow! I thought that Charlie was just horsing around.'

'My ad said I was 'blond with curves' it didn't say anything about me being a woman.'

Lie down - have a rest.

'Bad news I'm afraid Mrs Cleveland. Your husband and I are entering into a same-sex partnership.'

Safe is actually window to men's bathroom.

An unexpected development during round three of the annual nuclear physics play-off.