Unexpected Storyteller T-Shirts

"We pride ourselves on defying expectations."

"Anyway, long story short, I'm a believer in the old adage 'Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life,' so that's why I became an insurance adjuster."

'Due to a shakeup at network headquarters, this is the Evening News with Fred the Janitor....'

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

How I met your mother

'At that moment, across a crowded room, their thighs met.'

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

"I'm going to read a statement and then I'll take questions.''

Centaur falls in love.

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

Hog Futures

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

I get my ideas on sale...

Newton discovers surrealism

Foot Massage

'Remember the book about the scary monsters, Honey? Well, your father's relatives can't hurt you, either.'

"It's just thrived since I let it have Harry!"

"I'm so glad you suggested we insert his heart on Valentine's Day!"

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'