Unexpected Playboy Pillows

"When you called yourself a playboy...."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'I found the termites!'

"Ok, maybe a surprise party wasn't the best idea."

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

Want to hear a secret? Every time they put a nut in my mouth, I give it a little lick.

"Woah - random!"

A true musician will learn to improvise when his instrument is in the pawn shop.

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

Man reading in lamp

'You said you went to night classes to draw birds, and when I asked whether they had clothes on and you said they didn't - you know I didn't expect this!'

'I bet you thought I'd forgotten our anniversary.'

"No window, but on the plus side there's a gateway to another dimension behind the Lloveras print."

"Hi, Timmy. It's Lassie. She's stuck in the well again."

Lion Leaps off Stage into Audience

Man reading letter, 'You may already be a winner' about to step on rake.

'Really, this award has come as a great surprise...'

Monk Parrot.

"Your college student, home for the holidays, waits until dinner to announce that he is now a vegan. . ."

'Surprise!'

Shark Bomb

"Tuna and chicken bone breakfast smoothie. We were going to surprise you."

Al, when was the last time you had a date with a real woman? Actually, I'm making real progress on that score, doctor. The current issue of Playboy has a 3-D centerfold.

'The trouble with facing reality is you never know from which direction it's coming from.'

"The video of you giving that big bloke a piece of your mind has gone viral!"

Magician's trick

Big Surprise (vending machine)

"I know you didn't order a pizza. We're delivering this on spec."

Here he comes! Shhh …. Jack-in-the-box surprise party.

"I dragged a man out of a burning building. Un"fortunately, it was a fireman...

'Good news, folks! The plumber is here!'

Newlyweds are shocked by reality.

"Yikes! You scared me. Don't ever sneak up on me like that again!"