Unexpected Fortune Admirer T-Shirts

"I won the lottery so I had it gold plated."

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

Tiny Visions

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

'Get me public relations!'

Wow. You're amazing!

'Oy!...Did you spill my pinata!?'

"Schedule the 'voyeur' and the 'exhibitionist' for the same time. I want them to meet."

'Oh my... It looks like you have only 24 hours left to live...'

Road sign with a dinosaur.

"We started with fetch and heel, but we've moved on to impasto and chiaroscuro."

"Who would have thought, us in Hawaii, still we'd better get used to mixin' with the jet set. . ."

'The good news is it's not mice.'

Our Yuppie Dad

"I didn’t know you could play."

Artist throws paint at a canvas and is amazed to find that the result is the "Whistler's Mother" painting.

Deadpan Delivery.

"And I was all like - severed head in a sack? What severed head in a sack?"

'He's not too fast on his feet, but he's got a hell of a right hook!'

'This is Bob. He's really short, but he's got quick hands, watch.'

"I see that you came here by mistake. You were really looking for miss Zoe, the striptease artist two tents down."

The Crew played Musical Selections from 'Luciano Pavarotti sings Snoop Dog."

"Excuse me, sir. Our phones are down, so I'm here with your wake-up call."

'The trouble with facing reality is you never know from which direction it's coming from.'

The best place for a dartboard is not beside an open window.

'Has winning all that money changed him, you ask...?'

Survivor Game

Burglar opens safe of the ACME MAGIC SHOP, finds it empty, slams door, opens it again and finds the safe full of money.

An unexpected development during round three of the annual nuclear physics play-off.

Today will start off with an interesting twist.

"Thlippry thnakes. . ."

"We want two pizzas, in small, nonconsecutive slices."

'Unfortunately sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel isn't all it at first seems...''

'I have the stigma these days attached to being openly wealthy.'