Unexpected Foodie Pillows

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

Pasta

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

'Ok. I'm cooking dinner. What sounds good?'

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

"Today's special is puréed sweet potato on cracker."

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

Early bird special - Grilled Pterodactyl.

'We don't bring you anything. That's the surprise part.'

'That's funny... I could have sworn I saw the chef put him on the platter.'

Eye of Newt Helper

'Uh yeah, it's supposed to be like that... it's a... it's a new invention.'

Spy microchips in Chinese instant noodles

"A restaurant critic! I hope she doesn't make this place sound too good."

'What wine goes well with red meat?'

"Hey, do we have strawberries crushed in cream cheese?"

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

"So I said to myself...who am I to deny this calling?"

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

'What kind of idiot orders a triple anchovy pizza with no cheese?'

Clandestine Cuisine

"The Corned Beef Cappuccino needs work."

'It tastes like California condor, but it has the consistency of bald eagle.'

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"