Unexpected Charmer T-Shirts

"This is how I roll, baby."

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"Come on dear. It's getting late, and you have to be up early to collect your pension."

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

Cupid

'My daughter eloped with a mime...'

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

"This'll be our first Christmas together."

"No window, but on the plus side there's a gateway to another dimension behind the Lloveras print."

'Really, this award has come as a great surprise...'

Man reading letter, 'You may already be a winner' about to step on rake.

Magician conjures up a crocodile and is chased by it

'You know how they say, no matter how bad you got it, there's always someone worse off? Well I'm that someone.'

'Do you have anything that smells like wedding bells?'

'I adore a man of many parts.'

Can You Dance?

Monk Parrot.

Snake Charmer

"I still can't believe that you've booked a table for two on our anniversary you old romantic!"

'I never know what to do with my hooves at a party.'

Cow at stage door has bunch of flowers for large opera singer.

Border Security

"What do I bring to the company? I'm relentlessly cheerful and able to handle pressure."

"You are a very beauty woman. May I buy you a coke?"

'Cheer up Mom...They say dead is the new 80.'

Life is full of surprises.

"<groan>...School ends in four weeks."

"Carmen, how are you today? Wait! Don't tell me! You're as wonderful and as beautiful and charming as ever!"

'All good things come to an end . . .'

A surprisingly challenging resolution. This year my resolution is to leave well enough alone.

"With a name like Barney Stone, I do real well with the ladies on Valentine's day."