Unemployment Fighter Pillows

Social Networking Sites for the Unemployed

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

"Okay... how about some people are poverty rich but asset poor?"

"But if you were a real boy you wouldn't be allowed to work such long hours."

"Prices may keep going up, up, up, but my love for you will remain positively, and forever, as is."

Hypocrisy about poverty

'Don't come too close - this baby will tear you to pieces, bite your head off and drink your blood... I've called him 'Fiscal Policy'.'

Wordplay: Rabbit Punch.

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

"How come politicians don't earn mimimum wage. If anybody does minimum work, it's them."

'I think our mission statement should mention scholarship and attendance.'

Stress on GPs

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

'You're overqualified... so you'll have to act stupid.!

Food Cooked. Nerves raw.

'Tread carefully...it's her extended unfair dismissal qualification period.'

Body Shaming

'You're offering me a job, eh? -- does it have portable benefits?'

ASDA Redundancies

Cannibal: 'FOOOOD FIGHT!

Pizza Fencing

Bunfight at the O.K. Corral

'Excuse me, but is there anywhere we can get something to eat while we're waiting to get something to eat?'

'Activist investors are here to see you and they're wearing boxing gloves.'

'Watch out or they'll shove higher wages and better life down your throat!'

'The chef's salad, sir? You'll have to fight him for it.'

'No more!'

Time for a Raise

Traditional chefs revolt against new 'Robo-chef'' technology.

Quit Hogging the Job

Protesting Pineapple Pizza

"I'm about as mainstream as you can get. I go to church, I'm all for the family, I hate Saddam Hussein, and I'm unemployed."

"Before long you'll be qualified and ready to start work."