Unemployment Struggler Pillows

'Harold stopped looking for a job to protest the price of gasoline.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

He kept pretending he was going to work when he was just running errands.

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

'The good news is we're not laying you off. The bad news is we want you to take a 20-year lunch break without pay.'

"I'm sorry, Davis, but your face no longer fits."

"Well, YOU tell personnel you need every winter off and see if you get a job!"

"'Can correctly complete a CAPTCHA image 8 our of 10 times.' Any other skills?"

America's Biggest Export...

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

Two bored males hanging out on a tatty sofa.

'I don't know what to do about my check - grief or anger counseling.'

'You're overqualified... so you'll have to act stupid.!

We have an all volunteer workforce, and we're still losing money!

"Right now, I'm between naps."

'I am a staving artist. I'm fat because all I can afford is junk food!'

A Temporary One Day A Year Job Is Not Enough, I Want A Permanent Job!

"Seems like we're always the first to get the blame when crime rises."

Inflate a job!

Quit Hogging the Job

'Oh, I'm unemployed -- but it's not as exciting as it sounds.'

'Lost my job, house repossessed, but at least I've still got you.'

Unemployment Math

"I want to get him something for Christmas he's never had before."

"I'm about as mainstream as you can get. I go to church, I'm all for the family, I hate Saddam Hussein, and I'm unemployed."

Careers Advice

"My wife thinks I'm out looking for a job..."

Job centre - casual jobs; rotten, insecure low-paid jobs;dull, boring, repetitive jobs; Jobs that no-one in their right mind would consider.

"Ebenezer, you will be visited by an unemployed worker, a part-time, low-wage McDonald's employee and a disgruntled walmart staffer."

'I remember you. Were you laid off from this company last month?'