Underwriters T-Shirts

'Mr. Dumont, I'm sure you can understand our reluctance to sell flood insurance to anyone who says they're from a town called 'High River'.'

Campaign for Plain English

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

Obama Healthcare.

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

Arthur Schopenhauer

Henrik Ibsen,

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

Litterary Dogs.

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

Single Prayer Health Insurance

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

Healthy Patients Only

'Make a patriotic decision. Do you want your son to live in a public health insurance tyranny or do you want to let him die as a free American who doesn't have the money to pay for medical treatment?'