Underworld Entrepreneur Gifts

"Bad news - heaven didn't go for our time-share proposal."

"Welcome to the future"

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'Can our software do that?'

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

US v.s. Tech Giants

Mark Zuckerberg

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

'The secret to my success? Even as a kid, I never accepted that annoying phrase, 'None of your business.''

'Nothing like being your own boss, huh?'

"Gentlemen, may I present our company's future. A buggy whip... with Bluetooth!"

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

Online Shopping.

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

'The 'Business Man's Lunch?' The chicken salad comes served in a laptop.'

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

"Social media stocks have taken a beating I'm seeing a lot of avatars on ledges."

Smith and Hobson: People replacing people with apps and robots since 2009.

"Tea parties are passé. I'm opening a craft brewery."

'You may have three mergers.'

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.

"Just in case you want to invest, I've got a great idea for a dot.com startup."

Computer tycoon, 'It's that nerd-do-well from next door,'

Mega Corp: An Incubator for emerging technologies.

“He runs the top Virtual Reality company in the world. In fact, that’s not really him.”