Underwater Pun Fans Pillows

"Hey! Leave some for me! You're being shellfish again, Tim!"

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

Cupid misses his shot.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

You're Out Of Order

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

"That one's for higher-skilled plank walkers."

Arm Chair

To keep cool in the summer, Victor installed a whole-house flan.

'Isn't it about time for our seventh-year stretch?'

'The worst part is I'm afraid of the water.'

Sir Isaac Newton discovers even more gravity.

'Oh grow up !' (Child annoying old couple drinking from fountain of youth).

'Satchel, I have a hunch...'

"Note to self...'NICE APPS' is not a good opening line."

"Are we nearly there yet, Dad?"

"Father Michael has a wicked sense of humour."

"You should join us for Thanksgiving."

"And you say these stabbing back pains started when you got into politics?"

"Well yes, I could prescribe glasses, but frankly, just cutting your fringe would probably work better..."

"Okay - I can see you now."

Dolphin Music

'I don't think much of the punchline.'

Naval Command 'Innie' and 'Outie'.

Finger Food.

"Wow, that was some fart!"

"So the SM is for swedish massage?"

Fish in school to other fish: 'I did well in marine biology today - it was an open-brook test.'

Skipping with a beard.

'One shot of this and you won't know a thing. Too late. He doesn't know a thing now.'