Uncommon Collector Pillows

Ed was unlucky enough to find the needle in the haystack.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Toadstools

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"You're on a what?!"

Raincloud Umbrella

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Piranhaclaus

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Early cyborg.

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

Best before 65 million BC.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

Ice shelfie.

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Inflating Boobs.