U.s. History Nerd Pillows

"How many homes do I own? Have you ever asked anybody else running for president that question?"

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

'Einsteiners.'

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

'Yorick? No, I don't think so, unless of course he was a Neanderthal!'

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

"He conquered the known world - now all he's got is sudoku."

"I find that hugely offensive!"

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'Et tu Yakamoto?'

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

Harry S. Truman

Macbeth: Take Two

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Split Decision

George Washington's sister was always getting him into trouble.

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

"Perhaps it was too soon for a self-driving wheel."

Jane Austen Powers

Forensic evidence now proves that the shots in the balcony weren't meant for the President, but rather the show's cast.

Surge Plans.

'You can't recuse yourself from a war!'

Uncle Sam and health care.

They came...they saw...they conga'd.

Shakespeare actually had to paraphrase Julius Caesar's last words.

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

Theodore Roosevelt

E=MC2, 'You think you're pretty smart, don't you?'

Impeachment Wave

Trojan hitchhiker tries to hitch a lift from the'wooden horse'.

The Thing That Won't Leave