Typing Maestros Gifts

"This is fine, General, but how are your typing skills?"

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Four children playing the flute.

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

Busking, "Stop worrying your father for money."

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

"At the end of the day Simon, money talks!"

'Daddy is going off to stimulate the economy by making gobs of money.'

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

"Oh he also likes Wagner's 'Flight Of The Valkyries' played whenever he enters a room."

Pregnancy and Laptops

"I wish that life was as logical as Algebra."

"For his next picture, my client wants creative control, script approval, and a percentage of the gross. Is that clear?"

"I finished my act. Could you come over and give me a hand?"

'The only way to survive in the current economy is to diversify.'

'When I was a youngster I was going to be a Rock GOD, but the allure of working with multi-denominational tax efficient offshore bonds proved too strong.'

"I would take out the curse words, but otherwise I think it's fine."

"I can see it going even a little more feline."

Imagine the mess the world woudl be in if we didn't have the best executives money can buy running it.

Requiem

'Are you trying to disparage the notion that less is more.'

The perils of working from home

Drive-thru Day-care

Natalie Merchant

'Sorry about some of the punctuation -- I haven't learned the top row of the keyboard yet.'

'Sorry, Ted, but I don't think I can squeeze you in...'

"This is Mr Smith, he's our new recruitment expert."

'Just a personal question - who audits your tax return?'

Baby playing a piano in it's pram

Finally a TV set small enough so that scientists need not miss their shows if they have to go back to the lab during prime time.

'Why are you flicking paint on the floor...'

'How much tax can I avoid by becoming a Philanthropist?'

"Your son has a remarkable memory."