Twister Snack Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Run for your lives, it's a twistie!'

Tartine

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Rage.

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

Love is when you watch television together.

Super Heroes.

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

How The Sausage Is Eaten

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

Back in 5 minutes!

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

Sheltering in place.

"Goal!"

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

"He's an indoor cat."

How lazy people decide what to eat

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

Cinemuck

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

"Let's see, we bought the giant pop corn, tow giant sodas, and a big box of candy. . . we were lucky the megaplex's loan department was open!"

'Prepare to meet your maker!'

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.