Twisted Hospitality Lover Gifts

"Hey, where’s your cat?"

'I sent out for everything.'

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Perhaps Monsieur would care for something more expensive?"

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

'I understand the new usher is in the restaurant business.'

'Another artisanal B&B.'

"I picked this one up in France while my wife had her hip replaced."

'Brew?'

"There are scones in the oven too, in case you're peckish."

Mattress sale

'Good evening. I am your manager and these are Gaston, our chef, Raoul, your wine steward, Andre, your waiter and wilbur, your busboy.'

"Great session, Doc."

'We only have rooms with real teeth left!'

"Here’s your room key and mini-bar."

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

But the brochures says breakfast in bed! Yes, only if you carry your bed down to the dining room!

"A touch more obsequious and you'll reach the tipping point."

"Good news Mr Simms. Your blood pressure is down and you have a visitor."

Old lady at the door

Statue Selfie

"I don't think hot chocolate sauce on the pillows is such a good idea!"

'Just pass them round - don't try to sell them!'

'No, I'm afraid we're dull. But we do have two vacancies in the Kitchen.'

DIY Bed&Breakfast

Change Rooms.

"Please feel free to feel ill at ease while you're here."

Corona virus Christmas tree

"It's good to see the grandkids, but they're sitting on my stumps."

"I'm getting a second opinion from Al's Bar and Grill."

Branch No3 is free sir: It will be $10...

'Quick, roll up the red carpet!'