Tweezing Gurus Pillows

I start plucking, and I can't stop.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

Lesser known greek gods,

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Dating is so expensive...

Emergency Hipster Beard

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

"Be creative...!"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

'Done the first, now shower, shave.' - The bear essentials.

"Nice haircut."

Movember

The Cat Spa

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"

Hair Traffic control.

'Have you had a brazilian?'

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'