Tweet Master Gifts

"You've got bird flu, but it's tweetable."

'I haven't been in any academic journals but I do get my Tweets re-Tweeted a lot.'

"Of course I love you . . . didn't you see my Twitter feed?"

"Contestants, you have thirty seconds, two hundred and eighty characters, and an unfamiliar topic - can you find a way to make it all about you?"

"You're allowed to post one tweet..."

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

"My big fat ego has just discovered Twitter!"

It was … Beep. Unread text notification. It was … Yo, what up? It was the … Reading@tree. It was the … Beep. Facebook update notification. It was the best of … Beep, beep. New tweet. It was the best of times, it was the worst … Beep, beep, beep!!!

'I can't do that project --- tweeting is taking up my life.'

Pied Piper says: 'Check it out ... 5,000 followers on Twitter.'

"Remember, Dance-With-Buffalo, only up to 140 clouds."

"When the going gets tough, the tough tweet!"

"That tweet you sent me was so short, it was barely a peep."

So … You're a journalist. That's right. Can I interview you? Eh … no thanks. But … I could get your story out. Don't you want the world to know why you're rebelling against Dictator Clause? Of course. That's why I tweet. I've got millions of followers who hear my side whenever I want them to. @#?* 21st century. RebelElf. Rebuffed loser journo. He got all mad. Time 4 cookie-break. #LameStreamMedia

'I told you not to live-tweet this.'

"What have you tweeted this time?"

"I can't really tell you the future but I'll tell you what's trending on Twitter."

"It's over between us Brian. . . as soon as I've announced it on twitter."

You Skimmed My Tweet

'It seems to work, I couldn't afford a blackberry!'

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

"I just tweeted a chirp."

Ornithologist

"He just sits there, trying to think of the tweet to end all tweets."

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

"Today, charges that Putin hacked Trump's tweets..."

'It's a tweet from Maid Marian.'

"I have the new list of approved tweets."

'Wow, these messages are even shorter than twitter tweets.'