Tweet Conductor Gifts

Conducting a blue bird.

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

The Proust of Twitter

Bird Tweet.

"Someone's sending us a tweet...it says 'more seed, please!'"

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

tRUMp, Pirate President

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

Ornithologist

Trump goes down tweeting & firing more staff

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

'It's a tweet from Maid Marian.'

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

"I'll tell you the same thing everybody's telling Donald Trump - stop your damn tweeting!"

Whoever said "Brevity is the soul of wit" must have not read many tweets!

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be taken out of context and put on Twitter and then it'll be a whole thing."

"I tweeted yesterday. 'Sleep with your windows open'. It was liked and shared by 2000 mosquitos."

Archive for Presidential Tweets

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"So then I thought...who needs speech writers when I can just recite all my old tweets!"

"Hurry - get the family. I think he's about to communicate his final angry retweet."

Book Shop: The great American Novel and The great American tweet.

'I occasionally need to read my tweets to remember what I was doing.'

My Fair Lady Twitter

'And the public is protected from your tweets.'

The twittering president.

I'm your ghost twitterer. It's a marketing vehicle for your radio show. You're stealing my identity because if you used your own, no one would follow your tweets! You've got 3,000 followers. They're living to read about your every movement. Beating on pause. Beating on pause.

'I'm thinking of writing a tweet.'

"My big fat ego has just discovered Twitter!"