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Write a Screenplay

"People, we're writing a reality show. Use some imagination!"

"No, Barbara, this wouldn't make a great 'Seinfeld' episode!"

'Sorry, your resume isn't funny enough.'

"All the world's a sitcom and we are but the uncredited extras."

Dept of Dumbing Down

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Bond James, Bond."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Showbiz Awards

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

Campaign for Plain English

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.