Tv Tandem Watcher Pillows

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Tree house.

'Slip Ahoy!'

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'Och lye the news'

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

Incorrect weather forecasts.

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

It's a Dog's life

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

'...According to the survey, Canadians prefer the doggie style positions, so the can both keep watching the Hockey game...'

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

Love chair

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

And here is the day's news that we are going shove down your throat.

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

"Dad, I was thinking...can I get a tattoo...right here!"

This program is made possible by donations from Don and Mary Doughaberg, and from lowlifes like you who never get their names mentioned.

Sailor notices a sea mine in his foot bath.

Man ignores a football kicked through the window because his attention is on the TV.

It's 10PM. Do you know if you're under electronic surveillance from a spy satellite?

Dog watched 'Fire Hydrants of the Rich and Famous.'