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'He's supposed to be the greatest escapologist ever to be on television.'

Trial by Media

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Spoiler alert."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"No Hand Sanitiser"

'I'm a star!'

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

Oscars

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'You have the right to remain silent. . .'

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

Magician creates magic square

'Would you believe, all this is just part of a new reality show?'

"Yes, Your Honor, I'm Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

'That should be an easy act to follow.'

"Last night we watched three movies back to back. I was the one facing the telly."

"C-Span is our reality television."

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

Bunny TV.