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"Tonight Mathew, I'm going to be, Charlotte Church"

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Presenter Auditions.

Woman and TV.

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

Couch Potatoes

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

'Fred, with the market off over 500 points, we thought we might modify your call-in program today.'

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

"Welcome to 'All About the Media,' where members of the media discuss the role of the media in media coverage of the media."

"Bah! in my day bands knew how to play their computers properly. Like Kraftwerk"

'I'm a voice over artist.'

'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?'

Piers Morgan.

Boarway Show

"When the boss says jump, I say how high."

'This is just a thought, but maybe we could try animated anchormen.'

Obtaining a degree in TV Broadcasting.

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

'If the following program sounds silly, it's because it's a a paid political announcement....'

'Day is day and night is night. That's the opinion of the management of this station. Here with a rebuttal, is attorney...'

TV Producers Workshop. The first goal of a series to avoid cancellation long enough to issue a DVD set. Get boxed before you get canned!

"They want to see more snow on your hat next time. . . ."

The passing of a radio/tv personality.