Showtime Buff T-Shirts

Shows at 6 am and 6 pm daily.

Television Readers.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

Homo Zapiens

Tunnel of TV

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"

"If I were you, I wouldn't change the channel!"

Presenter Auditions.

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Woman and TV.

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

"See, Honey, I told you that TV would fit in this room!"