Tv Tactician Mugs

'He played every minute of three football matches on TV today.'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Golf lessons

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

Human males marking territory.

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'Man, I can't believe we didn't think of this before.'

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

I've left your pin on the map, but I've loosened it.

'Queen you? There's no queen in checkers, and never has been or will be.'

"You didn't let me win; I let you lose."

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

'Better get used to player rotation!'

"Try caressing the ball with your bat."

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

Wi-Fi password?

GREENLAND

Chess Chef

"But, what if we're attacked in the press?"