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Jerusalem's Got Talent

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

Lesser known greek gods,

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

Can't Touch This

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

"Our next story should interest all our viewers...it's a real can of worms."

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

Incorrect weather forecasts.

Celebrity anagrams: Is a salt water rat (Answer: Alastair Stewart)

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

"Thanks Dave. I don't know about you folks, but I can feel it coming in the air tonight."

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

Good Morning Britain has just achieved something previously thought impossible...by making Piers Morgan the most likeable man on screen.

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

'I stopped watching Sesame Street the second I found out it was educational.'

Nasa finally runs out of ideas for missions.

Ostrich TV.

"How about that! Wanda, you also landed on cheese."

'Hello, Mum!'

"Temp, tempo!"

"Oh heck, it’s going to be a long night, someone’s pressed the golden buzzer."

"This i why I always dress in bright colors."

'It's not a punchline to an office joke or TV commercial, Perkins. 'You're Fired' - for real!'

'If we lose the malpractice lawsuit, we can always sell it to the Bloopers Channel.'

The walking dead