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"Chinese, kemo-sabe! Billions of them!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

University Soapflakes

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

MacGyver's Cat: 'You see, I took your bed and two paper clips and made it my bed.'

'There's nothing on.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Astral Projection

Star Wars vs Star Trek

TV-Man

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

TV jester.

Time Machine Collision

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."