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'Not really interested in the meaning of life. I want to know what's going to happen on my soaps?'

When Tia Carmen says... "It is not only what we do that we are held responsible for, but also for what we do not do." it means...she's writing to the network asking that they not kill off her favorite telenovela character.

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

Star Wars Audience

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

"You again, Paul?! Hey, you must know this ceremony inside out!"

"Long time no see, Mr. Jimmy. I understand congratulations are in order on your recent engagement, wedding and divorce."

I'm no longer welcome at the county fair.

Dali Paints His Dreams

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.

You're on the "Ask Sadie" show. What's your problem?! I just found out "Empire" and "Star" are in the same universe. For months I've been telling everyone I knew that "Star" was a blatant ripoff of "Empire." But then I found out they're made by the same people and they're in the same tv universe, and I'm like totally fine with it now. Stop it! We speak "English" on this show, not "tv addict"! Wait a minute ... are we talking about soap operas? Because there's an exception for soap operas. No, we

Knock loudly. I'm binge-watching Netflix.

TV Time

'Scanning articles without finishing them on the Internet is affecting you. You're not finishing anything.'

"That's where everyone started getting sick of me."

'Let me put it this way...don't start watching any miniseries on TV.'

"I thought you gave up TV."

"I'm thinking of installing some strobe lights to make it look like he's moving."

"You never had to learn to relax, did you Fred?"

New TV Season...Dopey man watching new TV shows

I found the most amazing Youtube show. It's about an angel who helps people. Oh yeah? Yeah. And he drives around with some burly guy with a big beard. They wear '80s clothes and don't have any special effects. It's a perfect period show. Wait … are you talking about "Highway to Heaven"? That's not a period show, that was made in the '80s. Even you have to know that. Thanks for ruining it for me.

"I didn't know you COULD finish Netflix."

"I'm in the mood to swipe left on everything."

I just binge-watched a whole series on doing things in moderation.

'I know my bill's over due, but could you wait until all of last season's cliff hangers are resolved before shutting off my power?'

"I'm not sure. He either disappeared during 'Days Of Our Lives' or 'General Hospital'."

"They don't call them reruns anymore... they call them déjà-views."

"Years are like my previous five marriages. You welcome them with big expectations, but you end hating them."

"Do you recall how my eHarmony profile said I love to hike? Well, I lied."

500 channels and still ntohing we haven't seen before!

A misunderstanding between two passengers