
'We just received a radio signal from Tau-Upsilon that was utter drivel. Do you suppose it was one of their TV shows?'
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'We just received a radio signal from Tau-Upsilon that was utter drivel. Do you suppose it was one of their TV shows?'
"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"
Hollywood Sign Developers
"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."
"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."
Life is for the birds.
"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."
U of Debt
"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."
The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel
"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."
Cord cutter
'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'
Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "
Next gen pregnancy tests.
"She wishes to range free!"
"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"
"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."
God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth
So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!
'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'
"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."
"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."
Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"
"She's a miniature."
"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."
Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.
"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."
'And she's got to have implants out to here.'
Police film evidence
Limerick On A Grecian Urn
"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."
Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask
"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."
'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'
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