Tv Reality Show Critic Prints

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

Can't Touch This

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"I like it but does it get only the one channel?"

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

'Do you want to watch the weather/natural disaster channel, the nuclear proliferation channel, or the gun violence/Kennedy assassination channel?'

'Every TV show seems to have a lucrative phone-in competition these days.'

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

"I suppose we have Judge Judy to thank for all this."

'I'm a has-been celebrity - get me in there!'

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

'Here's veteran pundit Edwin Shrock to sound off og whether any other pundits actually know what they're talking about...'

No Talent Agency

Tonight, on the microwave channel... chicken pot pie!

A TV tank