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"Isn't it time you had your bath?"

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

UK border controls relaxed.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

Television Readers.

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Oligarchy

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Meet the Enemy

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Love is when you watch television together.

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Turkish Democracy

Man Reading Laptop.

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

Armageddon

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders